You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You don't make any sense
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