who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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