Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
