Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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