Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
