Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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