And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
