did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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