dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His hands were made for my vagina.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
