so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
