Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
tell me about the fingering
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
