absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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