I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
