We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
