no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
