So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
