Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
