we're blogging at a bar
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
