There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
