i just wanna soil my oats bro
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
