ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
