I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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