I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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