he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
