I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
