Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well most of my day revolves around power hour
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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