She's like a pop up book from hell.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
