I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
