New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
