Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
