time to smoke my breakfast
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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