people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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