if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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