4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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