Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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