Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
