im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
