Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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