Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
