go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
