If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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