You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
