I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
