I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
