There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
