how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Enjoy the penises
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
