oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
