I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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