So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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