i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
