What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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