That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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